


The volunteer firefighter biker ranger cowboy… And a cheesy pick up line.

by JackOfRandomTrades, LadyKarasuNM



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Cowboy romantic novels involved, Humor, M/M, Not seriousness whatsoever, Satire, cowboy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:15:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22155367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackOfRandomTrades/pseuds/JackOfRandomTrades, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKarasuNM/pseuds/LadyKarasuNM
Summary: When McCree is gifted an incredibly inspiring bundle of corny cowboy novels, he decides to take a page out of them to court the archer that has him madly enamoured.Alt description: "Suddenly, Hanzo felt a terrible urge to check Jesse’s ass."
Relationships: Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada
Kudos: 12





	The volunteer firefighter biker ranger cowboy… And a cheesy pick up line.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work sprout out of the boredom and lack of sleep from my boyfriend and me, prompted by a trip through a Humble Bundle of terrible romantic novels with a too high a ratio of cowboys in them to not be comedic on itself, a part of McCree's paradise. But more so, when reading the synopsis we couldn't help but write the most ironic and satiric McHanzo fic out of this because who doesn't like a good satire comedy about bad cowboy romance novels? 
> 
> Enter on your own risk, but rest assured, here seriousness is not allowed.

It was a terribly hot sunny summer day in the Watchpoint that was seen our beloved cowboy working on Bastion’s garden. He had volunteered for the task but, not counting on the terrible scalding weather, had found himself in a terrible surplus of clothing, to what he had been forced to cast aside his usual plaid shirt in favour of staying in just his sweat drenched and tightly fitted white undershirt, showing the outline of his defined complexion. 

He was focused on his task, droplets of sweat dripping off his forehead, when the call of a known, friendly voice interrupted him, “ _ Yosh!”  _

McCree lifted his head from his vigorous task, sighing with endless patience at his old friend, “Fer’ the Holy Mother’s sake, Genji, I’ve told ya’ I ain’t no Josh. The name’s McCree.” 

The cyborg looked at him, tilting his head to show the confusion his covered features couldn’t. He quickly dismissed the confusion in favour of returning to his first intent for his visit. “ _ Yo,  _ I bestowed a present upon your virtual inbox. I believe you shall find it very useful for this… Personal quest of yours.” he announced with a bow. 

McCree was very bewildered for a brief second, wondering if Genji had spoken in Japanese without noticing, “Ahm… Pardner, ya got me so confused I ain’t knowing if to check ma’ ass or scratch ma’ watch…” 

Suddenly, Hanzo felt a terrible urge to check Jesse’s ass. 

Genji tilted his head to a point where he was almost inclining to the side. “Why don’t you just check… Your email, instead”.

Jesse blinked and, after a moment to put to work his last battered southerner brain cell, he got out his uPhone 45 and checked his email, finding there a quite extensive bundle of romance books, most of them featuring blazing hot cowboys, not unlike himself. Intrigued by this strange (but very appreciated) gift, our cowboy quickly realised he had indeed forgotten a matter of the uttermost importance to him, that he had completely erased from his mind for a rather long time in his lonely outlaw life. “It’s ma’ br’thday” He muttered. “How did ya’ know?” 

“I’m a cyborg ninja” was the completely natural response he got before the ninja made a sharp sign with his hands and a mysterious cloud of smoke vanished the Japanese man. 

Finding himself alone once again, he couldn’t but look at the blue narcissus he had been working on and, upon the vision, his thoughts flew to a certain growling archer. He looked back to his newly gotten gift and started envisioning the many ideas he could get from those smoldering hot cowboys from the books. Ideas to conquer his betrothed like they so flamantly did. Unable to focus anymore, and with the sweat now soaking through the fabric of his shirt, sticking the piece of cloth to his body and revealing more of his chiseled frame, he decided it was time to get inside.


End file.
